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Romney To Travel Back In Time To Kill Liberal Versions Of Himself
Seeking to dispel accusations of flip-flopping, Romney unveiled plans to use a time machine to kill ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:36
Missing Teen's Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates
Two teens visit Today Now! in the hopes of finding their kidnapped friend and letting her know that ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 03:13
Congress Forgets How To Pass A Law
Onion News Network, Fridays at 10/9c on IFC. After years of gridlock, Democrats and Republicans ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:58
Report: Typical City Bus Contains No Fewer Than Four Erections At Any Given Time
A Greyhound bus crash claims 30 miserable lives, a Stanford study finds no logical reason why ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:44
Concentric Circles Emanating From Glowing Red Dot
Experts are still trying to determine the effect of the concentric circles on the long squiggly ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:26
Today Now! Interviews The 5-Year-Old Screenwriter Of Fast Five
Jim and Tracy welcome Chris Morgan, the kindergartener who wrote the latest action-packed "Fast And ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:25
Romney Courts Hispanic Vote With Animated Sombrero-Wearing Parrot
This week the Romney campaign introduced "Paco", a taco-loving cartoon parrot, in hopes of ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:28
Obama's Approval Rating Down After Photos Surface Of Him Eating Big Sandwich All Alone
Voters describe recent images of Obama eating a gigantic hoagie all by himself "somehow very sad." ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 03:01
Report: Every Potential 2040 President Already Unelectable Due To Facebook
A troubling report finds that by 2040 every presidential candidate will be unelectable to political ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:29
New Apple Friend Bar Gives Customers Someone To Talk At About Mac Products
Tech Trends' Jeff Tate explains the new service that pairs insufferable Apple customers with ...
Author: TheOnion
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Duration: 02:55

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